It is easier for parents to meet the foster carer before moving in, especially if they can visit the foster home.  Sometimes this won't be possible.  But if for example a mother is coming to you directly from hospital, just popping in to introduce yourself the day before or on the morning of the day she is moving in will make a huge difference.

Here are some practical ideas from foster carers on ways to get the placement off to a good start.  Things to provide ...

• Details of how to access the internet in your home
• A welcome basket with items for both mother and baby
• A baby gift or voucher for the baby
• A pretty memory box with a small photo album and milestone cards
• A list of local facilities like shops, chemists, the doctor, dentist, hospital, leisure centre (parent may be from another area)
• A bus time table
• Leaflets from the local children’s centre or parent and baby groups
• A copy of ‘I’m only a baby but …’ by Child Accident Prevention Trust

The placement planning meeting is about everyone involved in the care of the parent and child being on the same page.  It should take place within three days of the parent moving in, and for convenience, will probably take place at your house.

As well as you and the parent, the following people will be invited; your supervising social worker, the child’s social worker and/or the parent’s social worker if the parent is also a child, and other professionals like the health visitor, midwife, or leaving care worker. That’s a lot of people and the parent may feel very overwhelmed and struggle to speak up and ask questions.

As a foster carer, you will have your own questions about how the placement will work and it is really important to make sure the parent understands and can ask questions.

Talking with the parent before the meeting and writing down their questions will ensure they don't forget anything. The language in the meeting should be accessible.  Professionals can often get into abbreviations or ‘jargonese’ and you may need to ask that things are explained in plain English, especially if English is not their first language or they have a learning disability.  You can read more about this in the Learning Zone.

• Child care and babysitting: will the parent be responsible for all the child’s care, or will you give them ‘time off’. If so, how does this work if they go out for an evening and drink alcohol?
• House rules. Be clear about negotiable and non-negotiable rules from the beginning. For example, you may insist that food is not taken into bedrooms but allow a tray in the front room.
• Laundry, shopping, cooking, cleaning. Who is responsible for what? You may decide on a settling-in period before the parent takes more responsibility, for example if the parent is a new mother, but this should be clearly discussed and documented.
• Smoking. If the parent is a smoker, how will you facilitate this safely?
• Contact arrangements. Who is the parent in contact with and are there any court restrictions? Who will supervise contact?
• Money. What financial support does the parent have, and what is the parent responsible for buying for themselves and the child?
• If the purpose of the placement is a parenting assessment, who will do it, how long will it take, and how will the parent receive feedback?
• Is there anything in the parent’s history which poses a risk to the baby or your own family? If so, has a risk assessment been done and can it be provided?
• If the parent has a partner who has been violent, what has been put in place to reduce risk? Can you have a detailed physical description or photograph of the person? Has it been made clear to the parent that the placement would be at risk if the partner found out your address?
• What is the legal status of the fostering arrangement? Are both parent and child looked after, just the child, just the parent, or neither the parent nor the child. There may be confusion about this, but it is important as it affects who has parental responsibility for the child.