Supporting attachment and 'good enough parenting'

How a supportive relationship with a trusted adult can make all the difference

The way she spoke to me, like "just hold her nice and close when you're feeding her ... see,  she loves looking at you" made me feel like I could do it.  Most things I do now (with second baby), is because of her.

Whatever their circumstances, it is likely that most pregnant women and parents in foster care have had troubled childhoods, with histories of abuse or neglect and with difficult attachments themselves. They may never have had an adult in their lives who is encouraging and supportive. They may have seen little or no role-modelling of good parenting.

Whether they are a teenager from care, or an older mother struggling with issues such as domestic abuse, drug use or having had previous children removed, many parents in care feel stigmatised and defensive.

Having a supportive relationship with an adult who is interested in how they are feeling, listens sensitively and builds confidence and self-esteem can be enough of an experience of attachment to make a difference to how these women and men see their babies and see themselves as parents.

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